There is someone in your life that you Love madly, right?
Family member, significant other, friend…Someone that you can’t imagine living without.
Think of this person right now: what they might be doing, wearing, thinking about (you, perhaps?). Imagine their face, all the little details that you’ve memorized and love about them. Remember something amazing that they did for you and how it made you feel. Think about how you’ll behave next time you see them.
Sweet sigh. Instant mood lifter.
Okay, now think of the last time they upset you. Pissed you off, hurt your feelings or maybe even shocked you in a way that altered your relationship – even if you are technically ‘over it.’
Ouch. Bubble burst.
That’s the truth about Love, baby. Everybody who knows Love understands that it’s two-fold heightened sensitivity. There’s the awesome stuff, and the equally un-awesome feelings that come with being in a relationship with somebody.
And you accept that, because it’s worth it.
When things don’t go well, you feel sad and vulnerable. But you also pay attention. And when you’re willing to lean in and fix something, it gets fixed. Maybe not right away and usually not without a fight…but when you’re committed to a solution, you find one.
Love also forces you to suss out and forgive what is minor and focus on the bigger picture. The daily minutiae certainly can zap your energy, and it can wreak havoc on your mood. But when you have to make a decision to keep moving forward or walk away, it’s not those details that matter – it’s the sum total of what you’ve got goin’ on: physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.
Before I was married, I thought divorce was actually a good option. I believed that people change constantly in their lives and the likelihood of two people being able to sustain each other’s and their own changes throughout their lifetime is very slim. “Till death do us part” just seemed like a recipe for disaster; a great way to morph two people from Love into resentment – and then hold them captive and never let them reach their own potential. Allowing yourself to walk away was like taking the reigns back on your life, and why would we discourage that?
Now that I have been married for a bit, I have a completely different perspective. But I wasn’t wrong.
People change constantly. They walk away from opportunities because they get scared. Then someday, in a spurt of fearlessness, they suddenly insist on fulfilling that dream. But there is someone else to contend with. Someone whose approval they need, maybe even financial support, if they want to really ‘go for it.’ Sometimes it’s just bad timing, sometimes it’s self sabotage. But frequently that ‘dream’ doesn’t get realized, and who do they blame? The other half.
I allow myself to write so cynically because I am totally in Love with my husband. And being through a whole host of ups and downs with him (and both sides not being able to do/have something we want) I totally get those “Better or Worse” vows. Sometimes it’s more like bad > really bad > could this be worse? > yep, sure could > okay a little better > better…
But I was wrong about that holding us captive. It has made me a stronger person. And a happier one. Making a commitment for life is more of a challenge to yourself to be constantly willing to grow. Evaluate and adjust. Having another person there doing the same keeps you accountable.
I hope by this point you are catching the analogy in relation to your business. If not, let me spell it out. Running a business takes the same level of commitment as a good relationship. You have to endure the good, bad and horribly shitty moments and realize that it’s all part of the long term plan.
Are you willing to stick with it? Are you willing to forgive those moments when you’re crying on the floor trying to figure out how to fix something?
Are you willing to acknowledge that both you and your business need to change and grow over your lifetime? That it’s not always about what you want, but what the business needs. And if you pay attention, Love it, commit to making it work – it will work. Is this a relationship that you want? If so, say “I Do.” [Tweet this]
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