Lesson 15 - You build your own walls and then run into them

Lesson: You build your own walls {and then run into them}.

Life.  Right?  It’s such a crazy adventure, filled with challenges and rewards, and swift knocks upside the head followed by the feeling that you’ve totally got things handled this time.  After you do this for a while (life, I mean) you come to accept that it will always be unpredictable. And that’s just fine.

But I think we have more control over these things than we realize. Whether you are paying attention or not, you are constantly testing theories and measuring results, setting goals and refocusing them.

Most of this testing and analyzing is important to better yourself, but you also have another agenda that you probably aren’t aware of.  Sources vary on whether this agenda is ultimately good or evil (I tend to think it’s good, just showing up in shitty ways as a wake up call), but the bottom line is that a lot of the problems you face in your life are of your own making.

Like invisible walls, these problems seem to pop up suddenly, usually when you’re running at full speed and making great time.  Sometimes you smack into them so hard that you can actually see those cartoon stars swirling around your head.  Ouch.

Here’s my story:

If I only had one story it would either mean that I was ultra-enlightened at birth (not the case) or that I don’t have much going on.  My story is that I constantly have stories about my own self-sabotage and subsequent “AHA” moments.  In reality, I often get bruised and battered many times over before the realization of what is really going on comes to light.

So this is my general business story.  The culmination of beliefs I had adopted over the course of my life went something like this:

  • No pain, no gain.
  • If you ask for what you want, you are selfish.
  • If you want a lot, you are greedy.
  • Famous people have to sell their soul.
  • If you are given opportunity, that’s cheating.  You have to start at the bottom.

Mind you, none of those ideas were ever directly said to, or by, me.  They are just ideas that somehow made their way into my subconscious and got stuck there.

But those damned things kept boxing me in as I tried to build a career that satisfied me.  I could not experience joy without enduring pain (before and after).  I could not ask directly for what I wanted, so I created situations that were dire and without choice.  I stepped back and hid from the spotlight even though in my heart I knew I was meant to shine.

I was “put” through the ringer in my personal and professional life over the course of a couple of years.  But when I began challenging the notions that I had always held true, I saw the potential for a different kind of life…the one I wanted.  And when I faced my problems honestly, I saw a passage through them that had never been visible before.

The moral of the story:

We all have perimeters set up around our potential.  They are created by beliefs that we didn’t actively choose, but will undoubtedly bump into over and over until we can tear them down.

I think the trick is to pay attention to the pain.  When unfortunate incidents happen right before a big presentation, or you get knocked out sick just as your business is really needing your full focus, that is a sign.

Am I saying it’s your fault for getting rear-ended, or catching the flu?  Maybe I am.  If the shit that “happens” to you leaves you feeling a little relieved that you didn’t have to step up to something scary, you may have just manifested yourself some problems.

So begin by being honest about your fears and limiting beliefs.  When you are conscious of your thinking and behavior, you will see notice the patterns that coincide with your circumstances.  That awareness is how you change things.

 Have I figured it out?  Hell no, but at least I’m being honest.

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